God of the Broken

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you find yourself repeating a subject in a conversation over and over again? That's me this week. Lately, I have found myself in conversations about the broken and how they can be used. Not only that, but these conversations have also resulted in the myth that people believe: You shouldn't go to church unless you've got your act together. A friend of mine related that to rinsing yourself off before getting in the shower. It's simply unnecessary.

It's so surreal to me that people think they need to be this cleaned-up-picture-perfect person in order to go to church. Here's something to chew on, God wants the broken. If you're broken he wants to heal you, if you are lost he wants to guide you, if you're soul has been stomped on, he wants to comfort you and repair you. Do you not understand? HE WANTS THE BROKEN.

Last night at church my pastor preached something so powerful,
"It is not those that are good and holy that will impact the world with the Gospel, it is those who put their faith in Jesus despite their current or past sins, including those who are or have been spiritually dead. Those are the ones that ignite the world with the Gospel."
That in itself is so powerful, and so true. Most of the time the people that are at an all time Jesus-high are those who have hit rock bottom and turned to God because there was not other place or person to turn to.

To continue touching on this subject that has been on my heart for the past week is Jon Jorgenson with Not Qualified.

"Making good coming from my life impossible? Forgives me but refuses to use me?" "God can and will use anybody."

Those are probably my favorite three lines from the video. Jon highlights that those iconic  and influential people and disciples in the bible are those that have done some of the worst things possible. 

In closing, let his word be your tutor, and use your brokenness and your troubles to share God's word. Play your part. You are his hands and feet. Remember, not qualified is where he starts. 

Today's verse is simple.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. -Romans 8:26

A Fatherless Generation

Did you know about 43% of US children live without their father?

In today's day and age not having a dad in the picture is all too normal. The thought of someone not having their father around has been brushed off as no big deal. I'm here to tell you that's a complete lie. Not having your dad in the picture is very difficult to bear as a girl. Especially a teenage girl. The teenage years are hard as is, add a dash of "fatherless-syndrome" and it takes those difficult years to a whole other level.

Being a girl, you want affirmation of your beauty and talents. For whatever reason, that affirmation is desired and longed for to come from a dad. Dad's have a way of making their daughter's feel like a princess. In the same sense, dad's have the way of tearing their daughters down in the most influential ways. 

For me, growing up with two petite sisters and a petite mom wasn't easy. I was the daughter that was "blessed" with all curves necessary. To this day, I hate every single one of these curves because my dad always had the tendency of comparing me to my sisters. I can still remember him commenting on the broadness of my shoulders or the thickness of my legs, and believe me, there's so much more. The image I see of myself has been molded by the times it was spit on, torn at, and stepped on by the man I needed to hear the opposite from. 

Fatherless is so much more than that though. I've heard many times in my life, the scars we bear most are those that stem from our father. Not being told we're smart, handsome, beautiful, creative, successful, strong or even cherished has rooted itself deep into our souls. We as fatherless children or even those of us who don't have the best dad in the world, hold onto the things that were said to us or a lack of, for the rest of our lives. 

But how do we heal? How do we gain back confidence that was taken years ago? How do we endure Father's day every year without a tear-stained face? How do we move on leaving the spiteful father in the past? I've been without my dad for almost three years. I went through the milestones of getting my first job, getting a car, turning sixteen, turning seventeen, my first prom, senior year and soon to be 18 all without my dad. Even knowing my dad has no business being in my life, there still isn't a day that goes by where I don't wonder what it'd be like if he had treated us the way dad's are supposed to treat their families. So again I ask, how do I move on? How do I find closure?

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows-- this is God, whose dwelling is holy. -Psalms 68:5

Keeping in mind, our Heavenly Father will never forsake us and never leave us. He's our perfect Father. 

Song of Inspiration:
You Make Me Brave - Bethel Music

long time, no see, read or write.

Hello friends, it's been a while. I'm just gonna tell you how it is. I've had the hardest time bringing myself to post in here. The reason why isn't fun to utter.

For the past couple weeks I've been struggling, and not a little baby struggle. It's been a struggle where my soul has been forgotten. About four weeks ago, I lost myself. I lost my sense of confidence, I lost my passion to write and I lost who I am in God. Those last two things were the hardest to overcome. Don't get me wrong, I didn't lose sight of God, I just didn't feel him the way I was used to feeling him. I was pursuing him in ways I never have before. I was in the word every single day, I was worshiping him every chance I had. But that didn't seem to help. You see, I was in a funk. I forgot what it felt to be beautiful. I forgot how it felt like to be overfilled with joy, I became a stranger to the presence of God. I spent four weeks breaking down, holding back and missing who I once was. Not feeling beautiful or desired or wanted or talented is a feeling that can't really be described unless you've been consumed by it. However, in those four weeks, I was loved on and encourage in new depths.
The best two pieces of advice were given to me in the midst of that funk.

Two dear and near men in my life spoke life into me. Mike, my youth pastor, told me, "you're definitely in a funk, and sometimes the only thing that can save your soul is a song given to you by the spirit." That's right, A SONG FROM THE SPIRIT. So you want to know what I did, I went home and I played the song "You make me brave" by Bethel Music until my head felt like it was going to explode from the pressure of countless tears streaming down my face. That song brought the presence of God to me for the first time in two weeks, and it was powerful. However, that was short lived. The next morning I woke up feeling worse than ever. I trooped through school longing to feel myself again. Then Sunday came. Dave, another pastor from my church, sat me down and had me bawling. He learned that I had been struggling and the look in his eyes as he watched me fall apart in front of him is unforgettable. The great thing about what Dave said is that it wasn't him telling me I was beautiful and loved or precious it was the fact that he told me this is a battle and that I need to fight. He told me that these thoughts I am having are not from the Lord; they're toxic and I need to push through them. So that's what I'm doing. Although I'm not in the deep of the funk, I'm still definitely fighting through it daily. I have my great days and I have my terrible days.
So why did I tell you all of this? I told you this because everyone comes to a time in life were God feels no where near, and I want you to know you're not alone and you will get through it. The God we serve is an everlasting, powerful and loving God.

With that to be said, I encourage you to stay tuned in. Great things are yet to come and yet to be done.
To close my longish rant, enjoy my encouragement of the day.
Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. -Psalm 43:5